Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
