the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Randomize
