dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
