I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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