I can feel you judging me through the phone.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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