yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Just high enough for therapy.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Randomize
