don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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