Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I would ride that face into the sunset
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
