8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
i love accidental penises.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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