i think i have herpe
just one?
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
should my penis look like a turkey
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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