If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
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