he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
You took a bar mat shot.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
