new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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