oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
