sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
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