why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
