He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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