so that wasnt chicken after all
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
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