is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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