i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
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