Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Randomize
