hell yes lets make some ravioli
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Randomize
