So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Randomize
