My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
