I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize
