Barsexuality is the new black.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
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