I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
He did a backflip because drugs
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