fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
