I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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