And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
