I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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