if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
cat food counts as protein by the way
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
