White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
