I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
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