I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
