Will you blow on my dice?
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
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