this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
