This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Randomize
