Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Randomize
