This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
