I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
