Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Randomize
