his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Randomize
