Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Randomize
