Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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