Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
