He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
