how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Randomize
