he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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