Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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