my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
