Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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