hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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