Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
