I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
